Distraction

We are all distracted from time to time, because we are too tired, have too much going on, lots of reasons. The Lord may have shown me another reason! He has asked me to do this blog from the perspective of a highly sensitive person to encourage others who might be new to the idea that they are highly sensitive and that it is okay to be that way!
My project the other day was to make significant progress on the manuscript that I’m working on. No matter how I tried I could not concentrate—could not put two coherent sentences together! Nor could I come up with an alternative plan for the day, and there were probably 15 other things I could have done. I was sooo frustrated with myself! I think I would have played solitaire if I hadn’t already removed that temptation from my computer!
A friend came by mid-afternoon. We didn’t chit-chat; we went right to the meaty God stuff! She asked how much of my spirit was present. My answer shocked me—50%—and that answer came quickly! Light bulbs went on. When my husband came home I asked how his morning meeting went; was there a time during the day when he felt himself “helped?” He asked the time of day that I became aware that I was not being fully “here.” It was at a time he was in emotional pain. At the time he had glimpses of God helping him. With hindsight he remembered that he was starting to vent his pain and could have gone on spewing, but perspective came to him and helped him settle so that he did not say things he would later regret. He was able to see past the words presented and remember who the people were. He saw their hearts. Neither of us was aware of my spirit being present with him. I was only conscious of distraction, and he of being “helped!” We believe the Lord pulled this one off through the “oneness of spirit.”
The Lord was reminding me once again that when we take marriage vows He joins us in our human spirits—it is more than a “one flesh” thing![1] Because we are one in spirit, my spirit sensed his need for added strength and grace. My human spirit was with him to help him through a difficult patch. I was able to be his help-mate. We say those words “help-mate” but do not think much about what being one might look like on a day to day basis. Maybe it looks like being distracted! Maybe when we have an “off” day there is more going on than we are consciously aware of. We are very aware of our bodies, emotions, and minds but woefully unaware of our spirits. God is calling us to become more aware of our actions/reactions on the spiritual plane. We have a hard time recognizing the call and/or knowing what to do about it.
I made a mental note to be more observant on my “off” days. I made a commitment to God that He could call on me whenever, so I am going to start tracking what Holy Spirit and my spirit are up to! I wonder if being “off” is a symptom that my spirit, or at least some of it, is busy elsewhere—like helping my husband. It may mean my spirit is otherwise engaged, like when I’m in intercession for someone and I stumble over words or the rug I see plainly. My quiet time may be done. My conscious prayer about the issue may conclude but my spirit sensing more is needed, keeps interceding in the background and I start missing beats! It may actually be God’s call to come back into conscious intercession.
I am trying to remember to be kinder to myself and remember that all the feelings I feel are not necessarily mine! High sensitivity means that I take in more data. Computers slow down when they have lots to process. I am also a “dual processor”—natural and spiritual—would I not also slow down somehow? When I become inefficient, being frustrated with myself is only going to further complicate my day! Oy!
I’d like to hear from some of you. Does this ring true for you? How do you process your “off” days?
Blessings, Carol

[1] For more on this issue see the chapter on marriage in The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity.