Welcome John 3:16 Blog Hoppers!
We had a wonderful message at church Sunday; as a result I finally have the answer I have searched for all these 16 years of living with MS! “When is God going to heal me?” Within hours of sliding off the diagnosis bench that day in 1995 I put my spear in the ground and took my stance. I said, “I am not in any hurry to get my healing because I want to learn everything the Lord can teach me through this disease.” It has been a wild ride. Sometimes I have become tired because of the limitations of the disease; life would be so much simpler, easier, more fun and more productive if I were able to see correctly, move freely and had adequate energy. Still, I kept looking for the lessons of life so that I could share them with others, knowing that my having this disease was in some sense for the Body of Christ. Other times I said, “Okay, God. I know that You are all powerful. You are creative and not limited in your teaching methods. You can teach me the remaining things we all need to know by other means than solely by means of this disease! So–heal me! I’ve had enough already!”
I also know that God’s time is kairos, not chronological and that He experiences time differently than we do…but what was/is He waiting for? Why not heal me right now? That is how Mary and Martha felt. Jesus answer to their asking “Why?” was that He waited for the time that would result in the most glory for His name (John11:41)! Raising Lazerus from the dead brought more glory than a simple healing. The question facing me is, “What will bring God the most glory–healing, or living the rest of my life with this disease joy filled and without loosing faith?” I do not know the answer to that question. But I know that I will be healed on the day that God will receive the most glory! If the most glory comes by my being faithful, gracious and joyful in spite of what the disease does to my body, then that will probably be the way we go! But I am also open to being completely healed, like yesterday and being willing to do what He says and go where He sends!
I know that the day I asked Him for healing, He said “Yes!” It is there for me–I have not seen it yet. I have thought that I needed to do the hard work of learning the lessons He had/has for me and to do the hard work of exercise to build up muscles and nerves. And, when I had learned enough and prepared myself adequately that He would heal. I have been very alert to watch for lessons He could teach me. I work hard to build the habits of exercise. I not thinking that anymore. It is important work to do and I need to do it because I feel better when I do; but my healing does not hinge upon it. My healing hinges not on my efforts, but upon when God will receive the most glory.
My focus has changed. Now I am alert for what is the next right thing; to follow His voice and do His bidding. My focus is not on the healing or lack thereof; it is on Him. I knew that on one level, but now on another. The light is beginning to dawn as to how Paul could be thankful for his affliction–because out of it God received great glory. A side effect was that he was conformed more and more into the image of Christ. And yes, there is a book coming about the lessons. It is almost ready to see the light of day.
I would be honored if you would share out of your “blessed affliction.” And also be sure to leave your name and email address in the comment box if you would like to enter to win a set of burden bearing books that shed light on life as a highly sensitive person. You can learn more about them here: www.fromgodsheart.com